Lessons from the Swedes

Or, more specifically, my Swedish sister.

Ulrika, my beautiful Swedish sister.

Many of you know me as an only child, but there is a very important sister in my life. My Swedish exchange sister Ulrika came to live with us in 1987-88, and our lives have been fuller ever since. What a lucky thing for this only child of 16 years to experience- sharing a room, my family, my friends, my LIFE. It was a great year, and the adventure didn’t end there.  After high school I spent 6 weeks with Ulrika and her wonderful family there in Sweden: my first time flying alone, my first time out of the US, my first actual Swedish meatballs…it was love at first sight and bite.  Then 4 years later I went back for 6 months, like all good college graduates should- GO. TO. EUROPE.  When you run out of money, figure something out or come home.

Stockholm street, complete with tiny cafe.

Now over 20 years later, I keep finding many lessons in the time we’ve spent together. Little things that mean so much. I can’t tell you if these are lessons from Swedish culture or from Ulrika more specifically, because in my eyes much of what I experienced about the culture came from the Åhs family.

1. Spend as much time as possible outside. Light, warmth and great weather are fleeting. Enjoy! Walk, hike, swim, eat alfresco, sit on a porch swing, play games until the sun goes down (which is like midnight in summer in Sweden). Breathe.

Friends Trevor & Marilyn, dining alfresco.

2. Keep it simple. You don’t have to have a big house full of lots of STUFF (that’s so American…) to be happy. Have a few things that make life better, like some dishes, a few simple furniture pieces, some clothes you love, and call it good. Use your resources (aka $$) for experiences, good food, nice drink, good times with friends.

3. Make it fresh. Learn how to cook, and start from scratch when you can. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but fresher is better. We have a great growing season here in Iowa, and the food from the garden and local markets is supreme. We are so lucky to have an abundance of fresh fruits and veggies, and access to healthy meat and eggs.  Tonight for dinner, I had knickebrød (hard bread, like a cracker) with butter, monterey jack cheese, hard boiled egg, and a slice of turkey lunchmeat.  Yum!  I miss these simple suppers my sister made when I was there with her.

Trevor and mom in the kitchen, chopping away.

4. Ride your bike whenever possible. Expect gas prices to be sky high, so anytime you can walk or bike somewhere, do it. I hope our city continues to improve on the bike paths, so this is actually more do-able here, instead of taking your life in your own hands anytime you pull out of the driveway.

5. Never ditch your friends for a boyfriend.  My high school besties are still here with me, 20+ years later. Enough said.

6. Don’t leave the Australians in charge of the beer. There’s never enough room for it in the tiny fridges of Europe, so someone always ends up putting 2 in the freezer to get really cold, then forgets all about them. Next morning- big mess!

Noel guarding the stash of bikes.

7. Hot tubs and saunas are good, especially in the deepest of winter.

8. Know that your country is not the center of the universe. There are good things to be found in every culture.

9. Recycle. The can machines we have in Iowa that count them and give you a receipt for the deposits back? I saw those in Sweden in 1989.

10. Going topless on the beach is no big deal.  Seriously, get over it.

The summer cottage in amazing June weather.

11. You are never too old to wear braids.

12. Do not run out of lingonberry jam. Storm IKEA if necessary.

The list goes on and on, but you get the picture. Slow down, laugh, appreciate, sip, breathe, love.

Varsågod!

Spring Into Summer

How fun is that? Dog pile on top of coach, at the end of the great, undefeated regular season.

My son has never played baseball until this spring. He tried T-ball about 5 years ago, and was not impressed (how many 4 or 5 year olds even remember T-ball?).  So when he said he wanted to play baseball this year, I was surprised.  Pleased, but surprised. It has turned out to be a stellar season. A lucky combination of players drafted (mostly blindly) by coaches in April. I have loved being in the stands every week, cheering these 3rd and 4th grade boys on. I love all the stolen bases and little guys doing things I could only dream of doing (catching pop flies!).

For all the sports I did play in my day, I never played softball or baseball. It just wasn’t my thing, or maybe I was afraid because my mom did play some rec league softball and came home with a lot of bumps and bruises.  Nevertheless, I am loving being at the ballpark.

Spring is pretty much over, and summer is here. 91 degrees yesterday. Kids are on summer break, and I’m looking forward to finding a pool sometime soon to lay out around. Or splash in. Probably the latter. My wonderful husband has been manning the grill and we’ve planted the garden. Tomatoes, snap peas, green beans, and a hopeful fling of zucchini seeds. We’ll see.  Life is full right now, but in a good way. My path is winding out in front of me, and I can’t wait to dip my hands into the next adventure. Want to spend as much time as I can with the kids this summer. It will go fast, I know it.

I haven’t written a poem in ages, but for once I’m not in a panic. It’s okay. When it’s time, the words will come back, and I’ll be there to write them down. My home is great. My kids are wonderful. Married to my best friend. Last few years have been full of adventure. About to embark on a new adventure, which will continue to take me down new, exciting paths. Have enough money in the bank to get a $4 mocha every day. Life is good.

Camp Mom 2011

So the planning has begun.  Summer 2011 is going to be upon us in 7 weeks. Seriously.  I’ve been thinking a lot about this and am hoping to take a bit of vacation in the afternoons of the weeks my kids are here with me, and use EVERY SINGLE DAY to plan a new, crazy adventure for us!

We love to do things together and when I mentioned this idea to the kids this weekend they were totally excited! Which made me MORE excited!  Just think of it- every day a new “tourist-in-your-own-town” adventure.  There are the obvious things, like swimming and bowling and museums, but I’m hoping to spice up the list with some things the kids didn’t even know existed here in Polk County, Iowa, like horseback rides in Jester Park or touring the Salisbury House (Alex is on a kick that she wants to visit England someday).  Art scavenger hunts around town, and maybe even a few out of town jaunts, like up to Boone to ride the train.

The kids next to Hans Christian Andersson in Kimballton. Love the Danes!

I’m insanely aware that my kids are growing up so very, very fast, and want to make sure I take advantage of all moments I can.  In 2 years Alex could be working (she’s 12 now) and Keegan will be in middle school. They may not want to do all these crazy things with mom someday. I hope they still will, but you never know.  All I do know is that they want to do them now, and I’ve probably only got 4 full weeks in the summer (that’s only 2o weekdays, people) to get my fill.  So far, excitement level is building! On everyone’s part.

Keegan hamming it up in front of the Danish windmill in Kimballton, Iowa.

We’ve always done little things like this-going to the park, swimming, museums, amusement parks, etc., but never in this type of timeframe.  Why should I pay someone else to take my super-cool kids bowling, swimming or skating this summer?  I want to do those things!

Alex playing at the playground in Kimballton, Iowa.

I was not a stay-at-home mom. Not ever.  In fact, I started my current job one month to the DAY after Keegan was born.  I never thought it was the wrong choice 10 and 12 years ago. I like to work. It’s what I always thought I would do, what I wanted to do. But now, a decade later when I’m absolutely sure I will never, ever have more babies, I look back at those very, very busy days of running them to daycare and school with a sad remembrance. I kind of wish I hadn’t been in such a rush to get back to the office. I wish I’d taken more time to enjoy the park, reading the books (which we still do, by the way), the playplace at McDonald’s in winter, and the fun and silliness of little people.

Moaning about the past does absolutely no good, so here’s to Camp Mom 2011!  We are going to have an awesome, fun-filled summer!  We are going to tear this town upside down looking for all the cool parts, the fun activities, and the secret spots. I foresee picnics, jumping in lakes, bike rides, and museums. All documented with the good ole Kodak, and compiled at the end via iMovie (by kids that are even smarter than me).  Stay tuned!

California? Yes, please.

What life's all about: love and travel.

Beautiful San Diego views. Can't believe it took me 40 years to get here.

Some of the beautiful good at the Ocean Beach farmer's market.

We 4 spent Spring Break in San Diego with family. It was a joy to get to meet newest grandbaby Riley, see where Crystal and Christopher live, and get to explore another amazing city. I love to go.  Must have the next trip (big or small) on the agenda at least every 3 months.  Took me 40 years to figure that out, but it was a lightbulb moment when we were in California: the think I want to do most in my life is travel.

I want to see it all. I want to explore the oceans and beaches, the quiet city parks and the bustling zoos.  I want to ride the trains and trolleys, hop on a plane in 20 degree weather and get off in 60.  These trips and plane rides, meet-ups with friends and family, hundreds of pictures I love to take…THEY are the reason I go to work each week.  If I were content to stay home and watch tv or read or clean I could quit my day job.  I’m not though- I’m already excited for the next adventure.

We have a lot of kid stuff coming up in the next 2 months- roller derby, baseball, school events, band & chorus concerts, field trips and friends’ birthdays.  These are all great things.  I have 2 concerts to look forward to between now and June: Taylor Swift with my girl Alex, and Huey Lewis & the News with my bestie of 30 years Amber.  I haven’t gone to many concerts at all in the past several years, but these look to be great fun.  All the buddies from CHS are gathering in May as well, and I can’t wait to hug everyone.  Then the girls’ weekend at the lake this summer, too, and I’m trying to make as much time as possible for the kids and I to hang out this summer. Before long they won’t want to do all the silly stuff anymore with me, but just want to borrow my car. I hope to sightsee in our own town, little by little, day by day this summer. Go swimming at the pool and at the lake. Go to Worlds of Fun. Visit museums. Ride bikes.  Any more cheap/free/easy/cool Des Moines’ area destinations are welcome in the comments!

This is what life’s all about- being with the people you love and visiting new places.  Hells yes.

Mexico

Mexico is great for the soul, but not so wonderful for my blog.

We spent a wonderful week in the Yucatan, where it was 70 and sunny most every day.  Back home in Iowa, it was snowy and 0.  Not tough to choose.  For some reason I’ve had a hard time getting back in the swing of things, creatively speaking.  I’ve been helping my kids with some school & scout projects, cleaning house and showing off my tan.  I’ve knit a little bit, worked on some homemade journals, and read more about simple living. But I have not blogged.  Will try to remedy that starting now.

Here is the beach at Tulum.  It was so beautiful- truly breathtaking.

A week in Mexico with my sweetie and my parents-couldn’t have asked for more. I am so blessed.

Purr-worthy Yarn

I love yarn. Wonderful, good, soft, squishy yarn- I LOVE it. I don’t love acrylic, scratchy, icky yarn. The yarn police should take your needles away if you try to knit with that shit.

I only knit with yarn I would like to roll in, sleep on, and/or cover my naked body with. If it’s not that soft, forget it.

My grandma was a Robert Plant, a Paul McCartney, an Elvis Presley, an Eric Clapton of knitting. She freaking rocked. I remember going to a yarn shop in Joplin, Missouri, with my grandma and mom when I was a kid. It was the early 80s probably. I was around 10. They were picking out yarn for my grandma to knit a sweater for my mom. I don’t know exactly what type of yarn they picked, probably a cotton blend, but I know for damn sure it wasn’t acrylic. And I know when it was done it was beautiful.

I can knit in rows. Back and forth. My stitches are nice and even, but that’s all I’ve got up my sleeve. No purling, no patterns, no switching yarns, and for sure no socks on multiple double-ended needles. But I plan on learning all that. I want to learn to read patterns mainly so I can decipher the pattern I found in my grandma’s knitting bag. Right now it’s like a war-time code, scribbled out and indecipherable to me, but I know it means something. I want to know if it’s a cable sweater, or a hat, or what. And when I do get to the point of figuring it out, you can be sure I’ll be using yarn that’ll make you purr.

Poetry and Postcards

Currently I’m in a poetry postcard group of about 25 people. It’s pretty easy, really. There’s a list, and you send a postcard with a poem on it (of your creation) to the next person on the list like every three days. Some postcards come and I immediately fall in love. Some come and I say WTF? But I love them all, because getting mail is awesome and getting creative mail is even MORE awesome.

It’s nice to get the poetry juices flowing again, or keep them flowing if I’m lucky enough to have opened the gates at all. Life gets in the way of poetry sometimes, and I don’t always appreciate or deal well with that. Cold weather, short days, and moody attitudes all muck up my plans to write. Sometimes I’m lazy and sometimes I’m too busy with family stuff to squeeze in one more thing. As much as poetry tugs on the hem of my skirt, I can’t pay attention to her when my nine year old son is sitting on my lap or snuggled up next to me on the couch. In about two seconds he won’t want to snuggle anymore, so I’m opting for kid-time. Poetry will come looking for more action later-she always does. Tramp.

Our group members reside in Connecticut, Iowa, Arizona, Oregon, California and Massachusetts. The poems are just as diverse. Some are really well thought out, and some are spur-of-the-moment scribbles that just pop in the head. The ones I send are the same way. Here’s one I sent a month ago, and like the ring of:

You love me like that,
don’t you?
Enough to build a palace,
a majestic shrine,
to honor me
when I’m dead.
Enough to send me
roses every week, Joe DiMaggio?

Huey Lewis is in heavy rotation.

That’s a phrase you thought you would never hear again. But, it’s true-Huey Lewis and the News has made it into heavy rotation here on 93.3 KIOA and I am in heaven.

Within the last year, KIOA, our oldies station in Des Moines, has “shifted” their playlists. We hardly ever hear anything from the 50s, but now it’s mostly mid-60s, 70s, and early 80s. When I first heard Stray Cats’ “Rock This Town” I about had a breakdown, because that was the first 45 I ever bought with my own money. And it was on the oldies station. Which meant-gasp-I was old! I was 39 then, and still coming to terms with no longer being in the “young” demographic. The fact that I understand demographics means that I’m old, I’m pretty sure. I’ve lived through 4 decades now, and am excitedly starting on the next.

1986 found me starting high school, which you can see by the picture from the newspaper (click on the picture to make it full size-we are on the right). I’m standing there gawking like an idiot in the hallway of CHS while the student council folks tour us around the school for a photo op. We didn’t need a tour. The whole school was 4 stories, straight up and down. Lots of stairs, pretty hard to get lost, but easy to get out of breath. One of my best girlfriends Misty is with me, looking cute as ever. I wish you had the newspaper photo in color. Misty’s hair is eggplant purple. It was brilliant, literally. Our friend Tim Geisert made his way in the shot, too, and this clip is always a reminder of how cool he was-one of the kids in the “popular” crowd that wasn’t an asshole. There were… a few.

The ticket stubs were from Huey Lewis & the News in Springfield, Missouri, and Starship in Joplin. Misty and I saw Starship with my mom at the MSSC stadium, outside sometime in the summer I think. We loved Grace Slick. Who wouldn’t, really? The Outfield opened for them, and I still have the t-shirt. They were also fantastic, but then again most every concert is fantastic when you’re 15.

Mom also took me to see Huey Lewis & the News, along with friend Amber, at SMSU in Springfield. I can’t find the date on this ticket stub, which is too bad. The college kid working the door probably tore it off, never knowing that 25 years later I’d be pining away to know the date. We screamed and screamed and danced and sang and swooned all night. Concerts are so often a blur in hindsight. I mostly remember A. it was awesome and B. I was in love with Bill Gibson the drummer. Amber did not understand point B, as she was ga-ga for Huey. We shook our heads but decided that was best anyway, because then we wouldn’t have to fight over them.

Here it is 2011, and HLN has a new album out. “Soulsville”, what I’ve heard of it is great. It’s on the shopping list. I can’t stop pulling up old HLN videos on Youtube. I’m especially partial to “Hip To Be Square” and “Workin’ For A Livin’”. Don’t know why, but it all takes me back to the 80s. No real responsibility, decade of excess, big hair, 50 pounds lighter, and I drove a yellow 1976 Chevy Monza with a black spider on the hood. Good times.

Now go buy your HLN tickets- they are on the road this year!

Be the change you want to see.

Taking control of my creative destiny has begun.  I’m formulating ideas, making notes, sketching ideas and scribbling poems. I’m in a poetry postcard group. I’m dreaming in yarn.  My plan is to create something

Every. Single. Day.

And best of all, I can breathe again.

The past two nights I have been home alone and trying to take advantage of the free time. No kids to run to basketball or volleyball, no band concerts, no scout meetings.  All those things are wonderful and worthy, but I’m deliberately watching what free time comes my way and then sticking a knife in its back and making it do whatever I damn well please.  Last night I finished a rag quilt for my new granddaughter. Tonight I knit a few more rows on a dish rag I’ve been attempting.  The quilt is way cuter.

I had already cut out my 10″ X 10″ pieces, so all I had to do was place them and sew away. Had to rip a few seams along the way (never said I was a great artist, just a dedicated one!) but I persevered. I’ve had this sewing machine for almost 10 years and you would think I’d be the master by now.  Alas…no.

Sometimes the threading and I, well, we don’t always get along. But with the help of Huey Lewis & the News on the DVD player, I zipped along and before I knew it- done.  (Am I the only one swooning over drummer Bill Gibson here? Maybe that’s why I had to rip some seams.)

Many goals on the plate for 2011 and I won’t bore you with all of them.  But for sure I want to be: meeting more creative types, embracing what I’m good at, giving my life a new direction, sharing what I learn, spending more quality time with people I love.  Stay tuned!

Here's the back.

A bit closer up showing the front.

This is my stop.

This is where I get off the bus full of zombies and strike out into the world with just a backpack, my Converse tennis shoes, and thumb out hitching a ride in the direction I really want to go. These are my stories told to strangers in little cafés all across the world, and digging in my pocket for tip money. This is me sleeping on couches in Sweden, guest bedrooms in Arizona, or my perfect bed in Iowa. These are the dinners I’ll make for friends, new and old, and glasses of wine I want to share.

Let me introduce myself- I love paper and yarn, words and performance, glue and scissors, travel and reading. I like my life, but am working towards being in love with it. In love, like make-out sessions at lunch in love.  Buy you the entire Beatles’ catalog on digitally re-mastered CDs in love. Skydiving together when you are afraid of heights in love.

There is so much in life to enjoy, see, learn and do. And not nearly enough time for it all. I am an artist and writer, and Belle Starr Studios is my jumping-off point, the 40-foot cliff, if you will, of the next stage of my very blessed life. I already create things like poems, books, scarves, gardens and meals from scratch, but I believe my life should include MORE of all those things (and a bunch of things I haven’t even tried making yet).

I believe in karma and mantra.

The karma part is pretty self-explanatory. What goes around comes around. Treat people like you want to be treated. Judge not, lest ye be judged, and all that jazz. I’m far from perfect and have made a million mistakes, but I spend each day trying to make better choices than I did yesterday.

But a mantra…

Read. Create. Skate. Repeat.

Read- This is the heading I give to all types of learning. I love to read. Adore it. Growing up I lived 2 blocks from the public library, and they knew me by name, like Norm at Cheers. I love learning new things, either through self-teaching or taking classes. I read a lot, mostly blogs, non-fiction or poetry these days. There are so many cool blogs out there, and I feel like I’m really starting to come into my own with the help of these wonderful folks leading the charge. I teach classes and workshops, and love to help inspire people to be their true creative selves.

Create- I’ve been a writer for a long time, but just now feel like I can also call myself an artist. My art takes many forms, but I’m particularly drawn to photography, fibers and papers. I love functional art or craft- beautiful and useful at the same time is a match made in Hobby Lobby heaven.

Skate- This is the metaphor for adventure. While I really do love to roller skate, this one actually means so much more. My perfect job would be travel writer. We all know how many people on the planet make their living doing THAT (not many, by my count). I believe I can still do this- travel then write about it- I just don’t expect to make six figures doing it. Lucky me, I don’t NEED six figures to make it work. Adventure is found around every corner, and I love exploring it all. Bike rides on the trails in Des Moines, boating with friends at the lake in Missouri, or swimming with dolphins in Mexico are all five-star days in my book.

Repeat- Easy: if it’s adding value to my life, I want to do it again!

Welcome to my journey of creative independence and discovery. The cool shit I read, find and make will end up here. The kick-ass people I know will be highlighted. This is where I document life on my terms, my rules.

The gloves are coming off, and I’m getting down to business.